It must have been the chicken wings

Probably not a good idea to go out for drinks and salty appetizers the night before you get measured at the gym. Live and learn.

I came SO CLOSE to that milestone I wanted today, which was to say goodbye to that "300" slot on the balance beam scale once and for all. But I am still way pumped by my progress:
It's a happy birthday for me - 48 and feeling great!

The shape of things to come

For me, it will be a triangle before it's an hourglass again.

Time for a new picture. My original pictures were from May, so this is three months later. I started regular exercise on June 19th. The weight is starting to come off, and I am one size smaller in clothes. And that size is already loose. But it seems to be coming off faster from the top.

That's OK, I'll take it.


This is me at Navy Pier in Chicago last weekend.

We're doing measurements on Friday...and I believe there's a big "milestone" announcement to come (pleasepleasepleaseplease).

Toot! Toot!

That's me tooting my own horn. A nice change from my little pity party* earlier this week, no?

Tonight I did a full body workout on my own. The trainer gave me the routine...and I did it. I might not have done as much as I could have because I wasn't sure what weight I had been doing before. But I did 50 reps of 10 exercises. Yep, that would be 500 reps!

Also, I used the heart rate monitor to take a "fitness test" this morning. It measures your resting heart rate and gives you a fitness score. Unfortunately, we didn't do this when I first started 10 weeks ago, so I don't know where I was then. But as of this morning's test (assuming I did it right), my fitness level is...

...drum roll please...

45 - Elite

Huh?

I don't know exactly what it means. But that sure sounds good, doesn't it?

*Everyone has bad days. The trick is to always remember that it will pass.

Food: it's a four-letter word

I thought I would celebrate the start of my 10th week of regular exercise by finally talking about the subject I have been avoiding. My relationship with food is complicated. It's not a love/hate relationship, but it is definitely dysfunctional.

One of my first memories is of eating so many cookies in kindergarten that I threw up. Same result on Mother's Day when I was eight or nine, except then it was cheese and crackers. In my teens I began a love affair with Ronald McDonald (we have broken up several times, but I keep going back). I was in my twenties the first time I ate an entire box of big chocolate donuts. I gained 100 pounds in a year, and I still have almost every one of them. I have not weighed less than 245 pounds in over twenty years.

I use food the way some people use alcohol or drugs or other addictions. Compulsive eating, binge eating...whatever you want to call it. What is so frustrating about it is that I can sometimes go weeks or months without an episode. Then I have days or weeks of uncontrolled consumption. I mostly binge on sweets, but sometimes its meat and potatoes or pizza or hot dogs. It's never veggies, unless you count potatoes as a veggie (which nobody does).

I've done a lot of research, and have come to the conclusion that a combination of a genetic predisposition to addiction (alcoholism on both sides of the family) and establishing these emotional eating patterns early in life is my problem. Neither of these, thank God, is impossible to overcome.

So I'm taking a clue from my success with exercise, and have decided to find a coach to help me with the food side of the fitness equation. Or coaches. Or a group. Or I may go back to a group I was part of a few years ago. Whatever it takes.

Those of you who have never had a food issues probably cannot even imagine what it is like to be compelled to eat even when you know it's hurting you. You may see somebody like me and be completely baffled...not knowing how the hell a person lets herself get that way. You may feel digust or you may feel sympathy.

When you see an obese person keep this in mind...you might be seeing someone who is where I was in my twenties - out of control and overeating to relieve stress or dull pain. Or you might be seeing somebody like me today - working on it, making progress, one day or one meal at a time.

And before you judge too harshly, take a good look at your own life. Contemplate whether you use anything - drugs, sex, shopping, gambling, television - as a way to relieve your stress or dull your pain. And then give thanks that food is not your drug.

Because you can be addicted to almost anything and still look attractive to the world. But being fat in this society sucks.

In case I forgot to say it tonight...

...thank you!

That's for my trainer, who coached me through an awesome workout tonight. I gave him a hard time (in my smart-ass way), but there is no doubt he is doing a great job with me. He knows just how far he can push me, and when I can do five more reps.

I was feeling a little blue today, but now I feel on top of the world!

Howdy

It's been a while since I posted. I'm doing good...continuing the regular exercise. I'm off to the gym again tonight.

I'm still not doing too great with changing my eating habits, but I'm working on it.

Progress, not perfection.

Alert the media!

I, your humble Aunt Judie, have now worked out seven (SEVEN) freakin' days in a row!

Three personal training sessions, three hour-long cardio sessions (on the treadmill) and one Turbo Kick class. Total calories burned in those seven days - 2,961. Which, I think you will agree, makes up for my canoe weekend excesses.

Don't worry, I'm taking Friday off.

Know your stuff

"I beg to differ."

That's what my trainer said today when I told him he may not have worked me hard enough in our last session on Thursday. I had not felt worn out or super-sweaty afterwards, and I didn't have any soreness the next day. That's how I was judging the intensity of the workout.

He explained that the statistics from my heart rate monitor said I had indeed worked out hard enough. And he observes me as I work out. He watches how long I can do correct movements before I start to lose control, and monitors my breathing and the color of my face (which looks especially red when I'm not wearing makeup).

Today we worked a little differently, concentrating on my heart rate recovery after each set. And I'm not sure, but I think this was the first time he set one of the machines to 100 pounds. And seeing that made my heart rate go up before I even started the set!

Sometimes in life we base our conclusions on the wrong indicators, because they seem to make sense to us. But unless you really know what you're looking at, you can be way off base and not even know it.

You gotta know your stuff. And if you don't, you need to hire somebody who does. For me, getting professional help with my fitness has been worth every penny.

The fact that I am going into my eighth week is one very accurate indicator of that.