Aunt Judie's Excellent Fitness Adventure

Stick a fork in it...

2009-12-04T14:35:00.000-08:00

...this blog is DONE!

No, I'm not giving up...I'm MOVING!

A friend recently turned me on to a simply AWESOME web site called SparkPeople (www.sparkpeople.com). I spend a lot of time there now, and members can create their own blogs. So I'm moving my writing there.

I hope you will join me there. Here is a link to my page:
http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage.asp?id=JUDIESZYD

Thank you.

What comes first...the mood or the food? (Part 3)

2009-11-09T17:36:00.000-08:00

Read from Part 1

So I was all set to write about how I now have a canister of chocolate in my freezer, and how I can have a single piece with my coffee and enjoy it and not have it constantly, lovingly calling me to it from that dark cold place...wait...what was I saying?

OK, so I might not have this thing completely figured out. But here's what I do know is true, for sure, for me:

1. When I eat carbs late at night, I have trouble sleeping.
2. When I have had a bad night's sleep, I tend to overeat, especially carbs and sugar.
3. When I eat carbs and don't burn them off with exercise, all I want is more carbs to eat.
4. When I drink a lot of diet pop, I crave sugar.
5. When I do overeat, it is not because I am weak or lazy or bad or a failure.
6. Food affects my mood.

There is absolutely no doubt that my emotional state has improved dramatically since I started exercising and eating better. Situations that used to set me off are no big deal (most of the time). People who annoy me still annoy me, but I can take things in stride (most of the time). And while I do eat well most of the time, when I don't - like today when one piece of chocolate from my stash turned into many - I don't beat myself up about it. I do what I can to slow the tide, wait to eat until I get physically hungry again, and move forward.

Right now I've got healthy chicken breasts baking in the oven, I am drinking my water and my gear is already laid out for my early morning workout. That's moving forward.

Let's face it...food is pleasurable. It is meant to fuel our bodies and be enjoyed in moderation. Decades of dieting had turned my relationship with food into a perpetual battleground. It doesn't really matter what comes first - the mood or the food. What matters is breaking the cycle so food once again becomes what it was intended to be.

Keep trying until you figure out what works for you.

What comes first...the mood or the food? (Part 2)

2009-11-04T04:26:00.001-08:00

Read Part I

What I don't remember about the Great Donut Incident of 1984 is what I ate the night before, how I had slept, or even what the heck was so aggravating to me that morning. If had I arrived at work at 8:00 in a good mood, having had a good night's sleep and perhaps a decent breakfast, what could possibly have happened in one hour to turn me into a raving psycho eating machine?

A recent incident really got me thinking about the mood/food cycle. A few months ago I had a one of those life-changing decisions to make. It seemed to be the right time for me to overcome my fears (some of them admittedly irrational) and purchase a home. I was working against some emotional issues as well as the practical ones - the economy, the burst housing bubble, job security. For several weeks I wasn't sleeping well, I wasn't working out much and my eating was way off track.

After my first attempt at a purchase fell through, it was as if all my fears were justified. Emotionally, I took a huge step backwards. And for several days I indulged my cravings for sugar and carbs. I was convinced that my place was in renterville and always would be. But at some point I started to calm down, eat better, exercise more and finally got some better sleep.

And then one Thursday morning, after a particularly intense early workout, I was suddenly and supremely confident that it was time to move forward again. The practical considerations had not changed one bit, but my fear was completely gone! Before lunch time I had an appointment with the realtor, and in less than a week I had seen seven places, made two offers and signed a purchase contract for the place I am writing from now.

If I could bottle and sell the feeling I had that Thursday morning, I would be a gazillionaire!

(continued)

What comes first...the mood or the food?

2009-11-01T05:11:00.000-08:00

In my never-ending quest to figure out this food thing, I have come to realize that I may have had it backwards all along.

I have always been a moody person. We're talking serious mood shifts, sometimes from hour to hour. Just ask my friend and co-worker Stuart who, in an act of self-preservation, made a sign for my cubicle so I could warn whoever approached what they were in for:

The mouth part was actually a wheel behind the face part that I could turn to indicate my mood. Stu's a clever guy, but a so-so artist (he got the brows right, but my nose is nowhere near that big).

A sad or worse mood was most often "treated" with food. I remember one incident from very early in my career when I was so aggravated by 9:00 that I left the office, went to the convenience store, purchased a box of those big chocolate donuts and ate every one of them in the car before returning to the office.

And guess what? It calmed me down. I was able to go back to work and be productive, at least until the sugar crash came later. But what a cost for that mood fix - 2400 calories, 160 grams of fat and 136 grams of sugar in about 20 minutes. (Yes, they still sell those donuts and kindly provide that "nutrition" information on their web site.)

So it's no surprise I that my weight continued to climb. The last year on that job I put on 100 pounds. And that was the last year because I was fired - specifically because of my erratic moods. I was trapped in a vicious cycle of "emotions-food-emotions" that has haunted me to various degrees for over 20 years.

But what if the cycle is actually "FOOD-emotions-FOOD"?

(continued)

Contest results and what really matters

2009-10-26T05:36:00.000-07:00

So I'm finally sitting down to post the final results of the gym contest, and I can't find my record! Since I last posted I have bought a condo and moved. My contest booklet is around here somewhere...and if I ever find it I'll let you know the specifics.

But the contest ended pretty much where I was last time I posted about it. I had a big weight loss in the first four weeks (15 pounds), then I stalled. Food-wise, that is. I never stopped working out, although I had to cut my sessions with the trainer down to once a week due to budget constraints (the condo purchase mentioned above). There are reasons for what happened, but none of them rise to the level of excuses (remind me to write about the difference).

The good news is that I haven't given up, and I never will. Right now I'm at a decades-low weight of 245, am back up to two training sessions a week plus two or three workouts on my own, and most days the food part (still low carb) is going well. Oh, and as a result of participating and winning my category at my gym branch, they added three free months to my membership!

My next big goal is the wall. I'm going to climb the wall at the gym. My trainer says we can start that attempt after I get below 200 pounds. And although I want to reach that goal before my 50th birthday, it doesn't really matter when it happens, as long as I keep going.

The thing about climbing is that you plan your route as best you can with the knowledge you have, but rarely (if ever) do you get to the top without changing course. You make progress by moving upward, and then maybe to this side or other other, and often by going backwards before moving forward again.

Just like life.

These are the numbers we want to be BIG

2009-07-02T05:47:00.000-07:00

Body weight, body fat percentage, body part measurements...those numbers we want to get smaller. Equipment weights, timed exercises, reps (and my bowling average)...we want those numbers to get bigger.

My trainer said I should blog this, cause it's a big deal:

This morning I did barbell squats - 145 pounds - ten reps.

Not that I don't think it's a big deal, but I don't pay close attention to those numbers. He keeps track of it, and I just do what he tells me to do (as much as I can). If I looked at the weights on the machines too closely I might freak out. Like when he put the leg press at 200+ and told me to do one leg at a time. I knew he was nuts, but I tried it anyway.

Because some days, I discover I can do even more than he thinks I can. And those are the days we both smile.

So there you are, Mr. Trainer. Hey...we never settled on a nickname for you...I have some ideas.

One pound from the lead

2009-07-01T19:09:00.000-07:00

I've lost 13 pounds in the first four weeks of the gym contest. The leader (at our location) has lost 14 pounds. They won't tell us who it is, but I know it's another woman. I'm in the running!

Last week I sort of got burned out. Not sure but I might have actually been fighting off some kind of bug. I was completely drained (and a little nauseous) on Saturday, and for the first time I cancelled a training session at the last minute (which I still feel bad about...but it was the right call). By Monday I was feeling better and found myself full of energy which is still with me. In fact, today I even worked out TWICE - once in the morning and again tonight after my other plans fell through. And I did a personal best on the rowing machine - 1000 meters in 4:34!

I've never been a very competitive person, and I don't think it is really the money that is driving me (although it would be nice). I JUST WANT TO WIN THIS THING!!!

Seven and a half weeks to go.

One Year Stats

2009-06-21T05:42:00.000-07:00

It's hard to believe, but I have been exercising regularly for a year now!

It has taken me a year to lose 49 pounds BUT I have lost 11 pounds in the last three weeks. The contest at the gym is a great motivator. But what is really making the difference is the low-carb eating. I have, I believe, found what is going to work for me as a lifestyle, not just a diet.

I have to give a lot of credit to my trainer. Since the beginning he has known when to push me harder and when to back off. He doesn't do much backing off these days, and he even gets mean once in a while. Well, not really "mean" in the drill-sergeant way...but more in the "tough but beloved football coach" sense. He knows I can do more and brings it out of me. Thanks! Thanks! Thanks! And Happy Anniversary!

Here are the stats:

My clothing sizes may be smaller by now, but I haven't bought anything in a while. Except a belt so my jeans will last a few more weeks!

An interesting experiment

2009-05-31T16:26:00.000-07:00

I've got lots to catch you up on...my stats, the beginning of my gym contest, and a ode to the joy of buying new clothes in smaller sizes ("oh 22, how I love you"). But I still have to go grocery shopping, do laundry and get to the gym. And it's 6:30 pm. YIKES!

Anyway, for the past several days I have experimented with a new (for me) way of eating. It's low carb...not quite as extreme as the beginning of some of the diets out there like Atkins. But just limiting my carb intake, avoiding bread, rice and potatoes altogether, and not worrying about fat content (for a change).

Well, I have been very energetic. My mood has been calm and positive. I've got a lot going on and I'm not getting stressed out. I haven't had as much sleep as I should have, but I have still been feeling great.

Until today, that is.

I started out OK, but ended up having a six-inch "healthy" sub from Subway between multiple errands. It's really the first bread I've had since Tuesday, and it was wheat bread (but rather big...you know their breads). I was fine for a while, but then started getting tired and my mood shifted considerably away from positive. Instead of going to the gym after I finished clothes shopping, I just had to come home and take a nap.

When I woke up, I had my carb-free next meal and I've got my second wind. It's amazing! It's not much of a test of the concept yet, but I tell you that I might just be onto what is going to work best for me.

I have to go grocery shopping before doing laundry, as I am out of detergent. So I'd better get going. The gym tonight is questionable. It's open 24/7 but I do have to get to sleep at a decent hour.

My head is spinning

2009-05-27T04:30:00.000-07:00

Well, that online contest I started is over for me. I was just not able to get up to speed with the meal planning part. The cool thing is that the 12-week program can be started anytime, although the contest was for a specific period of time.

Then, what do you know...my gym announced a similar contest which starts June 1st...and the first prize is $10,000!!!

With that kind of motivation, and a sincere desire to tackle this overweight thing once and for all, I have found myself doing a ton of research into various diets and food concepts that I had not considered before. My head is spinning...not just from the vast amounts of information available, but from the contradictions I'm finding. And I'm starting to consider that the conventional wisdom about losing weight might be completely backwards.

How often to you hear a report on the findings of some medical study that completely contradicts a previous report on the same topic? First eggs are bad, then they are good. Or it's caffiene. Or whole grains. Or butter. Or wine. Pick your poison...and you will find contradictory evidence about the benefits/risks of each food or approach to weight loss abounds.

All I know for certain at this moment is that the thought of spending my days counting the calories and nutrient content of everything I put into my mouth is making me seriously depressed. There has to be a better way! I can't live my life constantly fearing I might eat something that puts me over some number on a chart. If that is the only way to get thin, I would almost rather stay fat.

Almost.

Gotta do your prep!

2009-05-08T18:01:00.000-07:00

It has been one heckuva week! On Monday I started an online body transformation contest and, quite frankly, it knocked me over!

I'll tell you more about the contest as the weeks go by, but the main thing is I didn't prepare adequately. In the days leading up to the launch, I spent more time picking out my outfit for the daily pictures than I did studying the materials! It's a pretty intense program and you gotta know your stuff.

What I can tell you is that as a result of being involved in that contest - and receiving a lot of encouragement from other contestants and my trainer - I have worked out SIX TIMES this week, five of which were in the morning before work! I wake up at 4:30 and get to the gym by 5:30. And I am about to close on my FIFTH DAY of "eating clean".

We're entering a whole new chapter in this adventure.

New Stats

2009-05-03T12:02:00.001-07:00

One of these days I'll figure out how to make this show up the same size every month:

Did a tiny bit of backsliding if you look at inches. But I did go down a bit in body fat, so that was good.

April workout stats

2009-04-30T19:24:00.001-07:00

Well, April is over. I've been working out regularly for 10 months, and I've recently started to seriously annoy my family and friends (but not strangers - yet) by asking them to feel my bicep. And I actually attended a bodybuilding competition on Saturday night. And I've rented (but not yet watched) Pumping Iron.

This was "strength building" month, and quite frankly I'm glad it's over. Although it was really cool to have leg-pressed 450 pounds last night!

Here are my final numbers:

19 workouts - 10 weight lifting, 9 cardio
Total calories burned - 20,704
Average calories burned per workout - 1,090
Average heart rate - 136

I'll get my measurements on Saturday. I don't know what my body fat percentage will be, but I don't expect the scale to have moved down (maybe up a couple of pounds). I only ate "clean" six days in April. But that's all about to change.

On Monday, I start a 12-week body transformation contest. More on that later.

Punchin' Judie

2009-04-27T17:12:00.000-07:00

After 10 months of wanting to punch my trainer, I finally got my chance...tonight we did our first boxing session!

I. LOVED. IT.

I warmed up with jumping rope, and it didn't take long to remember how to do it right. Then he put the gloves on me and taught me the punches - jab...cross...hook...undercut...haymaker.

Then he had me kick...knee shots up to where he was holding the mitts in front of him. We did combos like jab-cross-hook-kick and jab-jab-hook and jab-cross-undercut-kick. His agility proved useful when I accidentally did "kick" at the wrong time and the mitts weren't there. Sorry about that!

I had to make sure to write about this tonight, as I suspect I won't be able to move my arms tomorrow.

What a blast!

Assume the position

2009-04-23T04:45:00.001-07:00

If this doesn't motivate you, maybe nothing will.

83-year old Yoga teacher

Regrets

2009-04-19T04:47:00.000-07:00

Whenever I find myself feeling "regret" I am usually successful in talking myself out of the feeling. Regret is a waste of time. The past is gone. Learn from it, yes...let it ruin your present with negative feelings and "should have, could have" thinking...NO.

But when it hits your heart, sometimes you just have to have that good cry before you can let it go.

I was on my way home from an AWESOME workout yesterday afternoon. I was feeling so fabulous...my trainer has me in a "strength building" cycle, and we hit a couple of new highs on the weights I lifted. What I was feeling was the pride of accomplishment...working towards and achieving something I've never done before.

Then these words sang out from my radio:

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith 'coz you believed
I'm everything I am
Because you loved me
(Because You Loved Me, words and music by Diane Warren, performed by Celine Dion)

The man I saw in my mind at that moment - my father - is not here to see me take these steps towards health and fitness. He also struggled with his weight, so he knew my struggle. Who knows what could have been? Had I done this ten or twenty years ago, perhaps he would have joined me. At the very least, it would have made him happy to see me do this.

I'm not saying I should have done this for him. Whenever you make a change in your life, you have to do it for yourself. Doing it for somebody else doesn't work.

The people who truly love you love you just as you are. My father loved me and was proud of everything I did. But I also know he suffered by seeing me suffer, especially because it was me hurting myself. And I regret causing him that pain.

I'll finish that cry now, then put this regret away and move on.

Well this is a first

2009-04-15T18:37:00.000-07:00

I still can't tell you my news...but soon.

And today was a first. I've been instructed by my trainer to take at least a day off. He thinks I might be over-training. And I'm supposed to ice half my butt.

Don't ask.

The cure for "quick fix" disease

2009-04-11T06:29:00.000-07:00

I'm guessing I have read something in the range of 80-100 diet books in my lifetime, and have actually been on 20-30 diets that lasted more than one day. From each experience, I have learned something that I'm carrying with me now.

This year alone (yes, since January 1) I have read at least five books on fitness and nutrition (and there are three in the pile yet to be cracked open). The one I just started is called The Body Fat Solution: Five Principles for Burning Fat, Building Lean Muscle, Ending Emotional Eating, and Maintaining Your Perfect Weight by Tom Venuto.

I'm only on Page 17, and I've already found myself written about. The author talks about Brian Tracy, an expert in success psychology, describing "diseases" running rampant in America and much of the industrialized world today (emphasis mine):

One of them is called quick-fix disease. People with this affliction want to take a pill, go to sleep, and wake up skinny. [Note from AuntJ...I actually prayed for this several times.] They're suckers for the latest fat-burning cream or steroid-replacement scam. They impulsively buy "miracle" solutions...They search for instant cures...They look for overnight shortcuts... Saddest and most ironic, they often waste years of their lives on this fruitless quest, with no results to show for it.

Years? Try DECADES!

In 1985-86 I gained 100 pounds in about a year. During that year, I was an emotional trainwreck. To put it bluntly, I was a RAVING PSYCHO BITCH. When you're desperate, your intelligence and common sense fly out the window. I have some distinct memories from that period...I remember exactly where I was standing in the office when I practically screamed at a co-worker that I would not eat one more bite of food until I was under 200 pounds! (I think I was about 215 at the time.) She looked at me like the crazy person I was and calmly informed me that if I did that I would die. She got me to agree to at least eat some bananas (so a lack of potassium would not cause a heart attack).

Well, here I am at age 48 and I have yet to make it back to under 200 pounds. I would say that my average weight over these last 23-24 years has been around 285...let's say about 120 pounds overweight. At the generally-accepted ideal rate of weight loss of 1-2 pounds per week, had I started a sensible nutrition and exercise program at age 25 I could have been at a "normal" weight well before I hit 30 years old. Heck, even if I only lost one pound per month, I could have been at a normal weight by my mid-thirties!

Instead, I always wanted the quick fix. At least five of my dieting attempts were of the "fasting" variety - protein shakes and such. Almost all of my dieting attempts have resulted in more weight, which finally topped out at 330 pounds about 10 years ago.

The cure to quick fix disease is, of course, taking a long-term perspective:

Long-term perspective includes setting long-term goals, but also much more... Each goal is a stepping-stone, not an end point. Without a bigger vision and purpose for each area of your life, you won't have the motivational drive that keeps you going and you'll be more likely to fall for quick fixes...

Making decisions with the long term in mind often implies sacrifice...[which is] a misunderstood word. Many people think sacrifice means deprivation or giving something up. What sacrifice really means is giving up something of a lower nature in the present to receive something of a higher nature in the future.

Somebody asked me recently what finally got me onto the path of weight loss and fitness. There wasn't really a single event to point to, although the realization that I was approaching age 50 certainly had something to do with it. But it seems to have been more like reaching a "tipping point". My continuous search for knowledge (picking up something valuable from each book and dieting experience), my recent professional success with goal setting (the satisfaction of achieving those goals), my good fortune in finding excellent teachers (including my trainer) and my belief deep down that I would never give up the quest (even if there had been years without any attempts) have all combined to finally push me past the point of no return.

I still have days when either my nutrition or my exercise goes off the rails. Some days both my eating and fitness plan derail in a spectacular fashion! But I am (thank God) past the point of quitting, or returning to the "quick fix" mind set. I am striving for that "something of a higher nature".

This is the best time of my life.

New stats!

2009-04-01T19:10:00.001-07:00

Final March Numbers

2009-04-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

I'll get my new measurements (weight, body fat percentage, inches) from my trainer this week. But here are the final stats from my new monthly workout log for March:

Number of workouts: 22
Total calories burned: 27,260
Average calories/workout: 1,239
Average workout heart rate: 134

Plus...some exciting news coming very soon...stay tuned!

March madness

2009-03-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

20,214...my calories burned count so far for March.

My goal for the whole month was 20,000, and there are seven days to go.

Sweeeeeeet!

Picking up the pace

2009-03-18T04:24:00.000-07:00

March is shaping up to be my most dedicated with regard to exercise. I set myself a goal of burning 20,000 calories for the month. It's the 18th, and I'm already up to 15,527! I told my trainer that I wanted to work out every day this week, and he gave me a specific training plan.

Last night was 90 minutes of interval cardio...working hard until my heart rate hit peak, then cooling off, then working it back up again. I did it multiple times on five different machines, then in the end ran out of gas on the bike. So the last ten minutes I just rode at a good pace until my watch showed 1:30.

I'm also starting to pay more attention to nutrition. I'm doing research and experimenting, and already I can tell you that eating decent food definitely helps provide the right fuel for working out.

So far it seems my progress has been slow (23 pounds lost in nine months), but who cares? I did it without dieting (I wasn't ready) and it sure beats gaining 23 pounds! And think about this...if I had lost one pound a month for the last 10 years I would be at my ideal weight now.

My advice for whatever endeavor you are considering - start today. Start every hour if you have to. Don't get mad at yourself if you have to keep starting over. You're not failing...you are learning.

Never, never, never give up.

Latest official stats

2009-03-15T04:17:00.000-07:00

These stats are from a month ago. We usually measure the first week of each month, but in February I missed the first week due to travel and the second due to illness.

We are going to officially measure next the first week in April. But I can tell you yesterday the scale said 278.

That's just the weigh it is

2009-03-11T18:28:00.000-07:00

How often do you weigh yourself? I've gone from weekly to daily to whenever I'm at the gym. I know women who weigh themselves twice or even several times a day.

I'm at the gym a lot these days, so I may cut back and not weigh myself more than twice a week. I can do a lot of damage in a week, so weekly is out of the question. I like the scales at the gym...those balance beam things that many doctors still use. I had a digital scale in my bathroom for a while last year, but it drove me nuts. You could get on it three times in a row and get three different numbers.

The important thing for me is to not put too much weight (pun intended) into that number I see. There are a whole lot of factors in your body weight as measured on a scale. It's not likely I gained a pound of fat since yesterday, but that's how much the scale moved UP. Could be that I ate more salt than usual today, or drank less water. Who knows? It doesn't really matter.

What I'm interested is my body fat percentage, which gets measured by the trainer once a month. And however we measure, it's not just the latest number we need to consider...it's the trend. As long as I'm trending downwards most of the time, I'm making progress.

And remember - we're going for progress, not perfection.

(I need to update my stats. Gotta find my last measurement. It's on a post-it note somewhere around here.)

This is NOT why I'm fat...

2009-03-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

...but this has got to be one of the funniest web sites I've ever seen:

This is why you're fat. Where dreams become heart attacks.

Mmmmm....Meat Cake.

Oh, and the Sandwich Cake? We actually had one of those at a bridal shower in 1980 (with plain cream cheese as the icing).

What? It was pretty good!

I'm glad I don't know how to quit this

2009-03-07T12:03:00.000-08:00

For the past several weeks, I have intended to tell my trainer that I need to reduce our sessions to once a week. The issue is money, and a week ago I had a car repair that cost the same as 20 training sessions.

Looking at it from a purely financial perspective, spending $100 a week on an optional service seems a bad choice. There are so many more practical things I could use that money for - I could double up on my car payments (my only remaining debt); I could save for a decent vacation or maybe a down payment on a house; I could buy new clothes, which I need (ironically) because of the work I'm doing with the trainer.

But I can't quit him. I work out several times a week on my own now, but there is no way for me to reach the level that I do with him. I'm getting stronger every week, and I have never felt this good - physically or emotionally - in my entire life.

I'll do whatever I have to do to pay for it. It is the best investment I've ever made.

Worth. Every. Penny.

New stats

2009-01-09T11:03:00.000-08:00

These are my first stats since October. What happened is that I was at an emotional and physical low point when it was time to measure in November, so my trainer suggested I skip it that month. Which was good. I think he sensed that I was near a breaking point.

Then in December we did measure, but I had gained. I was upset and I didn't write down the numbers, and I cried in the car on the way home. Not writing them down was a mistake (not that I can't get them from him now). Not facing something does not make it go away. That's an old coping trick from childhood that has no place in an adult's life...unless you are Scarlett O'Hara (look it up).

So no more skipping the measurments.

And as I have written, my low point was followed by a rally and I am on fire right now! Check out that waist measurement - 6 inches lost! There's a number anyone can love!

The sizes have question marks because I haven't bought any new clothes in a while. That will change soon.

Look what I found!

2009-01-07T05:22:00.000-08:00

This morning I needed a three-ring binder for a project, and I'm working from home, so I pull one out of the bookshelf and lo and behold, it's the 2007 version of my "new diet" book which I started exactly one year ago today!

Here is my "before" picture from that book. I was 315 pounds:

This really made me feel good...because I weighed 285 on Monday night which means I am down 30 pounds in the last year. Wow! And that got me to thinking...I know my top weight ever was 330. So that means at this point I am 45 pounds lower than my all-time high. That is awesome!

I'm not exactly sure if this is me at my all-time high, but it would be close (it's from October 2001):

I know...the dark hair. Not my favorite look.

I get new official stats from the gym on Saturday.

Beliefs and feelings

2009-01-02T05:11:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I spent the holiday working on my plan for overcoming my food issue. Now that I'm exercising regularly, it's time to face my food problem head-on.

One of the many books I'm reading about emotional eating is called "If I Am So Smart, Why Can't I Lose Weight?" by Brooke Castillo. The book's primary focus is to change the way we react to the feelings that cause us emotional eaters to overeat. In order to change your reaction, you have to understand and change your feelings. In order to do so, however, you have to explore the reasons why you have those feelings.

The author describes how to figure out the beliefs that are the source of our feelings. She says beliefs cause feelings, which cause actions, which cause results. If you change the belief, you ultimately change the result. This makes sense to me.

At work we call this a "root cause analysis". When we have a production or computer problem, the true cause of it is usually not obvious, or the problem would not have happened. We usually have to go through several rounds of questions to find the cause. If the cause of the problem was a badly-worded instruction in a manual, the problem will keep happening until we fix the wording in the manual.

So each time I feel the urge to eat when I'm not physically hungry, my first step is to stop and identify the feeling I'm having, then figure out where that feeling comes from. At the root will be a belief for me to explore and challenge and change.

I used to think that I was incapable of changing my feelings, that they were just there and I could only keep trying to change how I reacted to them. To think that I have the ability to actually change the cause of those feelings is empowering.

I have arrived

2008-12-30T12:01:00.000-08:00

I head into the new year with a changed identity. Sometime during the last few weeks I have arrived at that place where I look forward to lifting weights and making my lungs ache and my heart race.

I have become "a person who works out". You know, when you are getting to know somebody new and you describe your job, and your hobbies and your interests and your beliefs...this is part of my list:

- I am a Christian.
- I'm a widow.
- My politics are mostly conservative.
- I work as a project manager.
- I like to sing, and bowl and bake cookies.
- I work out.

Who would have thought this would ever happen? Actually, I'm not completely surprised. Just really, really proud of myself! Do I have a long way to go, fitness-wise? You bet. But look how far I've come!

I leave you with good holiday wishes, spelled out in a cookie:

This was on top of a basket of cookies that I gave my trainer for Christmas. He ate this cookie in front of me while I worked out. Dude, that was cruel!

One tough broad

2008-12-21T20:00:00.000-08:00

Do you know why the battles in my mind are the toughest to win? Because I'm fighting myself, and I am ONE TOUGH BROAD. Just ask my trainer. Don't worry...he didn't call me that. He did try to give me a nickname once, with less than satisfactory results (we settled on Judie...very original).

But if you did ask him, I think he would say he is impressed with me (most days, that is). At least he was yesterday, when on a whim he decided to start our session with a basketball drill. Now you have to realize that I am within spitting distance of 50, and the last time I held a basketball my trainer probably couldn't even hold his binkie (which means pacifier in my family's language...what did you think I meant?).

I did pretty well...once I almost knocked his glasses off passing the ball. He taught me how to shoot baskets (B.E.E.F...Balance, Eyes, Elbow, Follow-Through). It only took a few minutes for me to get ten baskets. Then I did a victory lap dribbling around the gym. Fifteen minutes of fun with a heart rate in the 160's. Sweeeeeet! Look out Senior WNBA...here I come!

Then we did endurance sets...50 reps. I know he's impressed when he smiles when I'm done with a routine. Either that, or he's just thought of something funny. I choose to believe he's impressed. And that young man smiled a lot yesterday.

You know why you never quit? Because when things are dark and seem hopeless and you think you are wasting your time, all of the sudden things change. You break through some invisible barrier, and what you once thought of as an unpleasant chore (and some days torture) becomes a hell of a lot of fun. Burning 2058 calories in 90 minutes is a nice little reward too!

I know there will be days when working out is a chore again, when it's the last thing I want to do. But I want to remember yesterday and know that it's possible for me - of all people - to become fit and healthy and have fun being physical.

The battle rages on

2008-12-10T05:44:00.000-08:00

I'm still here. It's been a rough couple of months. Some weeks I get to the gym five or six times, some weeks only one or two. The scale goes up and down. I eat too much and work too much and sleep too little.

But the battle is not with the scale, or the food, or the clock. It is with myself, in my mind, between the person I think I am and the person I want to be. The battles of the mind are the toughest to win.

I will not quit.

Official Stats

2008-10-08T17:39:00.001-07:00

I actually do "fit" into size 24 slacks, but they're too snug for me to wear in public so it doesn't quite count.

New Stats

2008-10-07T18:39:00.000-07:00

OK, I can't give you all the official stats using my chart, because my computer crapped out a while ago and I haven't re-installed my MS Office Suite and I'm too tired right now.

But I can't wait! I lost another 7 pounds on the scale...I'm now 293! Not bad, considering I spent the first week after my last measurement gaining four pounds, and the week after that losing those four pounds.

Yeah me!

Zumba

2008-10-02T18:57:00.000-07:00

Now that was FUN!

Took my first Zumba class at the gym tonight. What a blast! The hour went by quickly, and I burned over 1,000 calories!

ZUMBA!

Checking in

2008-10-01T03:13:00.001-07:00

Wow...I didn't realize it had been so long since I posted.

Things are good. I've been continuing to exercise 4-5 times a week at the gym, and have started doing a morning routine at home as well. I've also been concentrating on better eating, including cooking and bringing my lunch to work instead of going out.

Next measurement day is in a week.

Good news

2008-09-13T12:55:00.000-07:00

I lost those four pounds I gained last week, plus one more. Which means...

...drumroll please...

I AM NOW UNDER 300 POUNDS!!! 299 is my new favorite number!

Actually, 290 is my new favorite number. Ten pound goals seem like a good idea, eh?

Setback, step forward

2008-09-10T04:25:00.000-07:00

Last week I was visiting the family in Michigan, and had fully intended to work out every day. I didn't have a gym to go to, but I had equipment to use. Well, I worked out once in that week. And I ate too much. And I gained four pounds.

I got back with the trainer on Saturday, but our session was somewhat tame because of me having been essentially dormant for a week. And I had also strained my knee bowling, so we had to be careful there.

But last night - WOW - we stepped it up a BIG notch. We worked harder and faster and with heavier weights that I had ever used before. I was ready, having eaten well (lots of lean protein) and warmed up for a long time. It was amazing! And my trainer was thrilled. We both knew this day would come.

Don't ever quit. When you have a setback, it just might be a prelude to a huge advance.

It must have been the chicken wings

2008-08-29T11:20:00.000-07:00

Probably not a good idea to go out for drinks and salty appetizers the night before you get measured at the gym. Live and learn.

I came SO CLOSE to that milestone I wanted today, which was to say goodbye to that "300" slot on the balance beam scale once and for all. But I am still way pumped by my progress:
It's a happy birthday for me - 48 and feeling great!

The shape of things to come

2008-08-26T18:44:00.000-07:00

For me, it will be a triangle before it's an hourglass again.

Time for a new picture. My original pictures were from May, so this is three months later. I started regular exercise on June 19th. The weight is starting to come off, and I am one size smaller in clothes. And that size is already loose. But it seems to be coming off faster from the top.

That's OK, I'll take it.

This is me at Navy Pier in Chicago last weekend.

We're doing measurements on Friday...and I believe there's a big "milestone" announcement to come (pleasepleasepleaseplease).

Toot! Toot!

2008-08-21T20:02:00.001-07:00

That's me tooting my own horn. A nice change from my little pity party* earlier this week, no?

Tonight I did a full body workout on my own. The trainer gave me the routine...and I did it. I might not have done as much as I could have because I wasn't sure what weight I had been doing before. But I did 50 reps of 10 exercises. Yep, that would be 500 reps!

Also, I used the heart rate monitor to take a "fitness test" this morning. It measures your resting heart rate and gives you a fitness score. Unfortunately, we didn't do this when I first started 10 weeks ago, so I don't know where I was then. But as of this morning's test (assuming I did it right), my fitness level is...

...drum roll please...

45 - Elite

Huh?

I don't know exactly what it means. But that sure sounds good, doesn't it?

*Everyone has bad days. The trick is to always remember that it will pass.

Food: it's a four-letter word

2008-08-18T17:45:00.000-07:00

I thought I would celebrate the start of my 10th week of regular exercise by finally talking about the subject I have been avoiding. My relationship with food is complicated. It's not a love/hate relationship, but it is definitely dysfunctional.

One of my first memories is of eating so many cookies in kindergarten that I threw up. Same result on Mother's Day when I was eight or nine, except then it was cheese and crackers. In my teens I began a love affair with Ronald McDonald (we have broken up several times, but I keep going back). I was in my twenties the first time I ate an entire box of big chocolate donuts. I gained 100 pounds in a year, and I still have almost every one of them. I have not weighed less than 245 pounds in over twenty years.

I use food the way some people use alcohol or drugs or other addictions. Compulsive eating, binge eating...whatever you want to call it. What is so frustrating about it is that I can sometimes go weeks or months without an episode. Then I have days or weeks of uncontrolled consumption. I mostly binge on sweets, but sometimes its meat and potatoes or pizza or hot dogs. It's never veggies, unless you count potatoes as a veggie (which nobody does).

I've done a lot of research, and have come to the conclusion that a combination of a genetic predisposition to addiction (alcoholism on both sides of the family) and establishing these emotional eating patterns early in life is my problem. Neither of these, thank God, is impossible to overcome.

So I'm taking a clue from my success with exercise, and have decided to find a coach to help me with the food side of the fitness equation. Or coaches. Or a group. Or I may go back to a group I was part of a few years ago. Whatever it takes.

Those of you who have never had a food issues probably cannot even imagine what it is like to be compelled to eat even when you know it's hurting you. You may see somebody like me and be completely baffled...not knowing how the hell a person lets herself get that way. You may feel digust or you may feel sympathy.

When you see an obese person keep this in mind...you might be seeing someone who is where I was in my twenties - out of control and overeating to relieve stress or dull pain. Or you might be seeing somebody like me today - working on it, making progress, one day or one meal at a time.

And before you judge too harshly, take a good look at your own life. Contemplate whether you use anything - drugs, sex, shopping, gambling, television - as a way to relieve your stress or dull your pain. And then give thanks that food is not your drug.

Because you can be addicted to almost anything and still look attractive to the world. But being fat in this society sucks.

In case I forgot to say it tonight...

2008-08-14T18:41:00.001-07:00

...thank you!

That's for my trainer, who coached me through an awesome workout tonight. I gave him a hard time (in my smart-ass way), but there is no doubt he is doing a great job with me. He knows just how far he can push me, and when I can do five more reps.

I was feeling a little blue today, but now I feel on top of the world!

Howdy

2008-08-14T15:51:00.001-07:00

It's been a while since I posted. I'm doing good...continuing the regular exercise. I'm off to the gym again tonight.

I'm still not doing too great with changing my eating habits, but I'm working on it.

Progress, not perfection.

Alert the media!

2008-08-05T18:28:00.000-07:00

I, your humble Aunt Judie, have now worked out seven (SEVEN) freakin' days in a row!

Three personal training sessions, three hour-long cardio sessions (on the treadmill) and one Turbo Kick class. Total calories burned in those seven days - 2,961. Which, I think you will agree, makes up for my canoe weekend excesses.

Don't worry, I'm taking Friday off.

Know your stuff

2008-08-02T12:21:00.000-07:00

"I beg to differ."

That's what my trainer said today when I told him he may not have worked me hard enough in our last session on Thursday. I had not felt worn out or super-sweaty afterwards, and I didn't have any soreness the next day. That's how I was judging the intensity of the workout.

He explained that the statistics from my heart rate monitor said I had indeed worked out hard enough. And he observes me as I work out. He watches how long I can do correct movements before I start to lose control, and monitors my breathing and the color of my face (which looks especially red when I'm not wearing makeup).

Today we worked a little differently, concentrating on my heart rate recovery after each set. And I'm not sure, but I think this was the first time he set one of the machines to 100 pounds. And seeing that made my heart rate go up before I even started the set!

Sometimes in life we base our conclusions on the wrong indicators, because they seem to make sense to us. But unless you really know what you're looking at, you can be way off base and not even know it.

You gotta know your stuff. And if you don't, you need to hire somebody who does. For me, getting professional help with my fitness has been worth every penny.

The fact that I am going into my eighth week is one very accurate indicator of that.

I have turned a corner

2008-07-31T18:49:00.000-07:00

OK, so I went on a canoe trip last weekend. Went a little wild and crazy. Drank too much, ate too much, fell out of the canoe too much and smoked two cigars (which was two too much). Then I went on a short business trip. I really meant to exercise once I got to my hotel on Sunday, but my body (and more importantly my mind) just didn't want to cooperate. Neither did the hotel...their gym was closed for remodeling.

I ended up going three full days without exercising. When I got back to the gym last night, the best I could do was an hour on the treadmill at the breakneck speed of 2.5 mph. And today, knowing I was meeting the trainer, I came thisclose to cancelling because I was feeling so sluggish and gunky. Fortunately, I have friends at the office who work out regularly, and when I told them that I didn't want to go to the gym, they told me to go anyway and I would feel better. I hoped they were right.

From the first routine, my muscles sang for joy and my mind cleared! It was like my body was mad at me for NOT working it all those days. Seriously. I had been slightly afraid that I had lost my momentum and might not get it back. But it was awesome to get right back into it!

The trainer didn't exactly take it easy on me tonight, but I left there knowing that I could have done even more than I did. But now that I've told him about this blog, and he reads what I just wrote, I think I'm in for quite a workout on Saturday.

It's gonna be great!

Results

2008-07-24T19:03:00.000-07:00

Got my first new stats today (had to cancel my session last night). I actually gained three pounds by the scale, but my body fat percentage went down an amount equal to five pounds. I'm not sure, but I think that means I gained eight pounds of muscle. Sounds about right.

My trainer reminded me (although he didn't have to) that the important thing is that I have been building a foundation of fitness (stronger muscles and a better-conditioned heart) that will allow me to push harder and go longer, so the weight will start coming off faster. Believe me, I take every visit to the gym, and every inch lost, as a victory. After decades of being a couch potato, I am very happy to be where I am now.

So here are the results after six weeks of pretty regular exercise:

Weight: 309 (gained 3 pounds)
Body Fat: 48% (lost 5 pounds of fat)
Upper Arm: 14-1/4" (down 3/4")
Thigh: 26-1/4" (added 2")
Waist: 50-1/4" (down 2-3/4")
Hips: 58-1/2" (down 1/2")
Chest: 51-3/4" (down 2-1/4")

And my clothing size is now 26 for the bottom and 24 for the top.

I have made some minor changes in my food habits, but now it's time to really step up those changes.

More on that next week. I'm offline for the weekend.

Catching up

2008-07-21T19:51:00.001-07:00

Wow...it's been a while since I posted. Since last Wednesday I have had three personal training sessions and one cardio session on the treadmill (for an hour again).

That treadmill session was a victory for me, as I had overdone it with pizza earlier in the day, left for the gym at 9:15 PM and had to turn around after a few blocks because I forgot part of my heart rate monitor. With that full stomach I took it easy, but still got an hour in.

On Saturday my trainer introduced this fun new device:

It's a balance trainer. It's like half a ball that you stand on and do exercises. Not as easy as it looks, let me tell you. We used it again tonight. I'm already a little better at keeping my balance.

I'll have my first set of new stats on Wednesday. I don't think I've lost any weight (I might have actually gained). But I know I've lost inches since I'm down a size already.

And I feel fantasic!

America in the gym

2008-07-16T04:54:00.000-07:00

As I walked the treadmill for an hour (new record) last night, I noticed how diverse the clientele and the entertainment is at my gym.

There are men and women of all ages and ethnicity. All shapes and sizes too. This isn't one of those gyms where only the already fit and beautiful people are welcome. The place is always bustling with activity...hundreds of machines on two levels, classes going in two studios. And on each of the bikes, treadmills, stair machines and such...a personal television.

The TV on my treadmill wasn't working, which was OK because I brought my iPod with several walking music collections. I kept catching glances at the TVs on the machines in the row in front of me. And for my hour I had "Larry King" (interviewing Barack Obama at one point) on my left, and "I Survived a Japanese Game Show" on my right.

What a country.

Yoga! Yoga! Yoga!

2008-07-14T18:53:00.000-07:00

I took a yoga class tonight. First time. I couldn't do much, but what I could do felt SOOOOO good.

I'm still not getting to the gym as often as I would like.

Wacky scales

2008-07-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted my weight stat yet, because every time I get on a scale I'm either way up or way down. I know I'm building muscle, but still I don't get it. So I'm not going to weigh myself anymore. I'll just do the monthly official weigh-in and measurements with the trainer. I think I'm due for that at the end of next week.

50/50

2008-07-08T19:26:00.001-07:00

I did lots of 50 pound/50 rep exercises tonight. Mostly my arms. I hope I can lift them tomorrow.

It really does feel good to push myself past where I thought I could go. It's a sense of accomplishment every time. How many things can you say that about in a day?

Inspiration

2008-07-07T19:41:00.001-07:00

Here are some wonderful stories of women who have lost 100 pounds or more, through diet and exercise, from the Today Show.

Happy retirement to...

2008-07-07T17:53:00.001-07:00

...my size 28 work slacks. Worn today for the very last time because they are TOO BIG!

My biggest pants size ever was 30, and I still have those. They will come in handy during my People Magazine/Oprah interview phase. You know, the classic photo of a woman who has lost half her body weight and her entire body fits into one pants leg?

Someday.

Exercise is like laundry

2008-07-05T08:06:00.000-07:00

When you think about it, none of us really has to do anything. We are free and can make up our own minds. We don't have to go to work, or pay taxes, or wash the car or do anything we don't want to. We do things we want to do because they give us pleasure. We do things we don't want to do to avoid the consequences of not doing them.

Take the laundry (please). I dislike doing laundry. Always have. It doesn't matter that doing the laundry is a lot easier than it used to be. Growing up, the laundry machines were in the basement, and you had to go outside to walk down there. For many years, we were on the third floor and had to haul it up and down all those stairs in all kinds of weather! It's a lot easier for me now with the elevator. But even when the machines were right in my apartment or house, I still disliked it.

But I do it, because the consequences of not doing it would be quite unpleasant. I sometimes put it off until I have literally nothing left to wear, but I eventually do it. And you know what? It's never as bad as I imagine. It doesn't take long, I can get other things done while the machines do the work, and the feel of clean fresh clothes is very nice. I am constantly surprised at myself and wonder what the big deal was.

And exercise? I don't have to do that either. Until this morning, I had not been to the gym since Tuesday. I cancelled an appointment with my trainer. I didn't go to do the cardio workouts that I am supposed to do on my own between training sessions (which would make the training more effective). I wasn't in the mood, and I wasn't going to do it.

But this morning I realized that, just like the laundry, working out is never as bad as I imagine. As I left the gym after a 30-minute fast walk on the treadmill, I wondered why I was so hesitant to go. I still can't say I particularly like exercising. But I am starting to feel as if the consequences of not doing it are more unpleasant than the exercise itself.

I get by with a little help from...

2008-07-01T19:35:00.000-07:00

...the big red ball.

It's called a "balance ball" or "stabilization ball". My personal trainer has been having me use it a lot for various exercises. And tonight - believe it or not - I did 10 pushups! I can't do them the normal way (on my toes) or the modified way (on my knees). But laying on the balance ball I can do 10! Hey, it's a start!

Here's a site that sells them - the Gaiam company.

They also sell this chair, which I am seriously thinking of purchasing:

The idea behind it is that you have to stay balanced and not slide around, so your muscles have to be working all the time as you sit. Plus I don't think you can slouch and stay on the thing.

Interesting.

More stats

2008-06-29T17:55:00.001-07:00

Just for the record...

My clothing size is between 26 and 28 (depending on style). Although my size 28 work slacks are already loose.

First "before" pics

2008-06-29T16:26:00.000-07:00

I'm back from out of town. I didn't get to do any formal workouts, but I did get plenty of exercise last night on the dance floor! My food was pretty much under control, except for indulging in two cocktails last night and one pierogi with breakfast this morning.

I am heading to the gym for a cardio workout (on the treadmill I think). But before I go I need to post some pictures. I know how inspired I get reading other people's weight loss stories...but it really makes an impact when there are pictures. And since I was brave enough to tell you that I have 59" hips, I figured posting the visual evidence is no big deal.

So here are what I'll call my "before" pictures. They were taken at a bowling tournament last month. I weighed between 315 and 320:
My all-time high weight was 330 about ten years ago.

More photos to come...I promise!

Hurts so good

2008-06-26T20:36:00.001-07:00

I didn't make it to the gym last night. I was cleaning my apartment because it really, really needed it. Tonight I had my third personal training session at the gym.

We worked mostly on my upper body...using lots of machines that I found myself grunting at to make 20 reps. It was like I was not going to let those machines beat me! (As if they care.) My trainer is very encouraging, and he watches my heart rate closely (I wear a heart rate monitor during every workout). I was sore after Tuesday's workout, but not too bad. And I know I'll be sore tomorrow.

But I am very much liking the feeling of getting stronger and more flexible.

There's this cool thing at the gym we refer to as the cage. It's almost just like it sounds, but the purpose of it is to support you as you stretch. There is nothing that feels so good than to gently stretch those muscles after a workout. Well, I suppose a deep tissue massage would feel good, but I haven't had one of those (yet).

There is something different about this latest attempt of mine to get fit. I did a round of personal training at another gym about six years ago, and I didn't enjoy it at all. Maybe it's different this time because I'm also watching what I eat (more on that later). Or maybe it is because I'm not afraid I'm going to die because my trainer is taking good care of me. Or maybe I am just at a place and time that is right for this.

Whatever it is, it feels great!

I'm going out of town for the weekend...and I'm taking my exercise gear. I'll report back Sunday night.

This might be a record

2008-06-24T19:39:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure I have never in my lifetime worked out four days in a row. And I'm scheduled to do two more nights before my weekend out of town.

The really weird thing is, I am ENJOYING it!

Stats - June 19, 2008

2008-06-23T04:02:00.000-07:00

During my first visit with the gym's personal trainer last week, he took my baseline measurements so we can track my progress each month.

I know this might sound like a cop-out, but his scale was wrong. Seriously. I was surprised that the number was about six pounds lower than I expected, having weighed myself at home in the morning. They have those doctor's balance-beam scales, but you have to make sure they are in balance before you step on them, and I didn't notice if it was. So I weighed myself on the scale in the locker room and that seemed more accurate. So I'm going to use that number as my official starting weight.

So here goes. My official beginning stats:

Weight: 306
Body Fat: 49.6%
Body Mass Index: 44.3%
Upper Arm: 15"
Thigh: 24-1/4"
Waist: 53"
Hips: 59"
Chest: 54"

The numbers game

2008-06-22T05:08:00.000-07:00

Many dieters are emotionally attached to their scales. It is their scale that tells them how they should feel about themselves that week, or that day, or (in very extreme cases) that hour. We who have battled our weight most of our lives still don't get how some days we can be "good" with our food and the scale says we have gained. Then some days after being "bad" the scale says we have actually lost weight.

Body weight is affected by multiple factors...fat gain/loss, muscle mass, water retention, hormones...there is a heck of a lot of stuff going on in our bodies every day that we don't (and wouldn't want to) see! When trying to lose weight, to me it's the trend that counts.

At work we measure all sorts of things to be sure we are delivering our product or service to the customer as quickly and accurately as possible. We plan strategy around these numbers. But we don't change our strategy every day based on what happened the day before. We watch the trends, because we know that multiple factors (most being temporary) affect the numbers.

For example, if your team's productivity target is 10 widgets per person per day, the actual productivity might be 12 one day and 9 the next. You stick to your strategy until the trend starts going down and staying down. Then you look at the cause and adjust accordingly to address the cause and bring productivity back up.

Losing weight is hard enough in itself. Over the years (decades), I have made it a mental and emotional nightmare in several ways, including letting the scale be my guide. This time, while I will continue to weigh myself every day, it will only become part of my "permanent record" here once a week. And the other measurements that they take at the gym will be posted once a month.

Welcome

2008-06-21T10:47:00.000-07:00

Hi there, and welcome to my new blog! This one is all about my efforts to lose weight, get fit and live a healthy life.

Whenever I've made a serious attempt to lose weight, I've tried to keep a journal. As much as I like to write, I've never been very successful journaling for long. It's kinda boring, and I sometimes write things that I wouldn't want anyone to find and read someday. But I've always enjoyed reading other people's weight loss stories, especially when there are pictures. So why not just put it all out there for the world to read anyway?

Obligatory Disclaimer: I am not a doctor, I don't play one on TV, and I am certainly no expert on exercise or nutrition. The purpose of this blog is not to give advice. To be honest, the primary reason I am doing this is to make it public, so other people know what I'm doing. Knowing that you are out there reading this will motivate me to keep going. I hope you'll give me support and encouragement.

I am developing a list of 50 things I want to do (or be) by the time I am 50 (in two years, two months and eight days). The first thing on that list will be "I will be fit and healthy".

I'm on my way!